People are the most fascinating creatures, and it is a hate/love relationship for me. I had the best times in my life surrounded by others. But it was also other people who caused me the most pain. That is why it is so incredibly important to surround yourself with good people. Ones that nourish and enrich your life, celebrating your successes and providing support during tougher times. It’s amazing when you get to find like-minded people who allow you to be yourself and understand your feelings. Despite the fact that there are billions of us on this planet we call home, finding such dependable and positive people to call friends is not always easy. Moreso, I found it more and more challenging as time goes on. The older I get, the harder I find it to find good, kind-hearted people. Don’t know if that’s just me, though. Do you experience something similar?
As a kid, I think we’re naturally more open to new connections, whereas as an adult, we’re rushing around too much to stop and realise that that’s a pretty cool person we just ran by. Friendships, especially the really good ones, require effort to build, and sometimes people are unwilling to do that again. They find it much easier to maintain old relations, whether they’re still good for them or not. I talk about it a little bit in the context of solo travelling in an older post, if you’re interested, just down below!
Friendships can be challenging, but they are necessary. As fundamentally social creatures, we rely on friendships and other people in general for so much. Reduced feelings of loneliness, emotional support, companionship, and a sense of belonging are but a few of the benefits involved.
Of course, it is one of those aspects that changes significantly throughout our lives. As children and teens, we often choose our friends based on proximity and shared activities. Perhaps our moms are hanging out together, and we’re tagging along, or we’re on the same sports team. Or attending the same classes, perhaps. Once school is over, usually that’s the time when those relations are put to the test for the very first time. The majority of them are shifting as we’re entering different stages of life. Some are going to different universities, and some are entering the workforce. Or singles vs. people in relationships, etc.
A lot more factors come into play the older you get. Marriage, kids, travelling, careers – all of these and more can cause us to lose the easiest, but typically most crucial, foundation of friendship, proximity. And so, you are left with time and energy, and not everyone is willing to put that work in. The ones that do, however, create the strong connections that last. I think it’s only natural for things like that to evolve with time. Whether you have a small, close-knit circle or a larger group of friends, it all comes down to the quality and intentionality of those connections.
Such a powerful bond is explored in the novel ‘ My Friends’, written by Fredrik Backman. Friendship so strong, it is able to change a stranger’s life twenty-five years later. His tale of four teenagers whose friendship transcended and impacted generations is a moving story of belonging. Louisa, an orphan and an aspiring artist, feels like she’s the only one who sees the tiny, mysterious figures within the most famous painting, the one of the sea. Right there, the three of them, sitting at the end of the pier. When an opportunity presents itself to finally see the painting in real life, Louisa doesn’t wait. She does not waste a second getting into the gallery space despite the fact that she knows she doesn’t belong there – amidst the richest, the poshest, the most ignorant. The events that unfold leave Luisa with the ownership of the painting and no idea what to do with it. As she embarks on a cross-country journey to decide its fate, she is determined to find out the story of those mysterious figures, while she’s got the chance. It is twenty-five years ago when those teenagers spent their long, summer days at the pier, away from their troubled home lives, telling secrets and jokes, finding comfort in one another and a reason to keep going. This is where this magnificent piece of art was born and where Louisa is headed. But the closer she gets to it, the less sure she is if the story she’s following so deeply will have a happy ending after all.
‘The world is full of miracles, but none greater than how far a young person can be carried by someone else’s belief in them.’
What a beautiful piece of literature this novel is! Another one of those lovely prose that makes you want to pause and ponder. It is an easy read or listen, with a slow start that picks up a good pace around a quarter of the way in. It is going to sound funny, but I actually feel as if I lack words to describe this book, to do it justice. It includes a good storytelling element, combining drama and humour in a very mature manner, despite the characters not always being that. ‘My Friends’ is a beautiful portrayal of how valuable and necessary each of our stories is and what can happen when they overlap.
A great novel that shows its readers how important friendships are. I hope you have some amazing people in your life that you get to call friends? I’ve been blessed with some good ones of my own, whom I’m grateful for every day!
The Roaming Wolf 
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